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silverplate88's Journal

Moonfire Marion Bridge / Brad
23 March
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Update 13 April 2017: Moved to Olympia, WA on 03 October 2016. For good. Working with Rachel Corrie Foundation and volunteer-teaching in elementary school. This past week, wrenching, Kiota's last week on campus nine years ago, I'm here for the second time and for the first time as a resident of WA. You can follow me on FACEBOOK, have gotten pretty active over there too. Update 06 June 2016: Still in Cambridge, MA, US of A (from April 2013) and staying here for a short while longer. Deep into photography now, replaced my Canon Digital Rebel SLR I had in Holland with a new one --( replaced the mech Rebel, the human Rebel never!) Did my first ever group photo exhibit, twas in my building, got good reviews. Continuing to <3 being co-Mod with gothicotter at Kiota's memorial webpage/LJ Account , go over there LJUserID = Kiota

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They are really faraway suns whose light takes lightyears to get to us. We are looking upwards into history.

Anna Rosenfeld /+++/ -- The Evergreen State College, Class of 2011
Kiota Bandal /+++/
Kiota al-Astraya /+++/ :: 30 April 1989 - 13 April 2008
*** * every night she will teach the stars to burn bright.

"Try not to mourn too long...
I meant to end my pain, not to inflict pain on someone else.
Let yourself mourn, don't try to keep it all inside like I did...but >>

Let yourself get over it too.


I didn't want to hurt anyone."

***** ****

"When I grow up I want to take pictures just like Sally Mann."

Merry meet, and merry part, and merry meet again.

***** ****

Kiota is derived from the Korean verb 'kiotara', which means to turn around; "Bandal" in Korean means companion or sidekick.

In Sanskrit, 'Tara' and 'Astraya' both mean "star".


There was something deep in there that was always, always hurting her.

=========== ||||||||||||||| =============

...crazy is the need to touch the storm gathering above
and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that follows
but no matter how high you jump you can never reach the sky...

...crazy is the love of night unlit by a glaring moon
or specks of stars too far to reach in a thousand lifetimes...

...crazy is alternate sanity
collapsing in a shower of sparks
to bring the fires
to burn the lies and truths together
to let it all crumble
to ashes
and watch the phoenix rise.

--from "Crazy Is", (c)2003 Kiota al-Astraya; (c)2008 The Estate of Anna Rosenfeld; All Rights Reserved

****** ||||||||||||| *******

to the stars you said we'd go
to their faroff, faroff glow:
to their infinite height,
to their pinpoints of light...
we'll go together, leave this place,
go out flying into space.
forget it all. we'll start anew,
we'll get a different view,
we'll be looking to the stars, to the stars....
take me out of this battlefield,
let all my old wounds be healed.


only let me sleep briefly,
only for a minute, two or three,
let me briefly slip away:
it will still be, still be okay.
we'll still be gone to the stars.
to the stars, to the stars, to the .... stars ...

*** *** *** *** *
** ***** *** ****** **

just beyond 14, she wrote this song, and she wrote that "this makes me very sad."
just short of 19, she became her star, and the sadness stayed here with the rest of her scarred body.
......that stayed here, with the anguish. with the weapons and wounds.
she mounted and rode the wyvern, beneath her, to join the phoenix above her.

and she'll be out tonight, night being her favourite time. then and now and always.
if you look carefully you'll see her.
anywhere over the world.

*** *** *** **** **** *** **** **** ** *

"scent of pine trees in the rain // eyes that love you, arms that hold..."

----- once you share these even once, you are engraving them onto the chambers of your heart, right then and forever.
and we did, and they are.


Anneliese Marie Sara Frank, 12 June 1929 - 31 March 1945. Another timeless source of starlight.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ And a third:

Sarah Kane, 03 February 1971 - 20 February 1999. Misses Kane and al-Astraya never physically met ---- and hardly anything matters less than that, in their parallel tracks. Two pairs laid together, pounded into the ground.
Like the ones at Emek Refa'im, now abandoned.


and Patricia Cornwall says: "We're judging people by the vehicle that contains them. You're being cruel and disrespectful to their spirit. Spirit has no sexuality or color or accent or even religion.
I suppose that's why it grieves me even more that people behave the way they do --- in terms of US or THEM."


Distilled fractals:

Out there, Meowvatar gave me the time of my life. All my lives. In fact, Kiota and she had totally teamed up.
But it was only temporary X.X, as short as life is too....

Rachel Booth, 24 November 1993 - . Rachel is an alternate sane saint. Recalling directly Kiota's words on alternate sanity.
And a teen we are very interested in. For her courage, for her blood. And her father's.
'Tis better yours within than his without.' As Mr. Shakespeare wrote.

An alternate sane saint with good shotgun aim....that was before she was chained up like an animal. They put her in Juvie.
So much for her job.

ESL / ABE teacher and tutor. Editor. Sainthood candidate w00t .... Texas law enforcement officer, also stage / dance lighting designer [same times, different places]. FLAG and ally. Writer, currently script materials. TSA [Treatment Systems Analyst] for a number of PC counselors, as in psychologists. Following Ki's lead into making photographic art. Planning a self-published book in 2017.

That's not flying. That's following the road. says JW

Feminist, rape crisis center volunteer / supporter: Boulder MESA and MNCASA and interactivetheatre dot org. From V-Day to V-World...same time next year. Shark Marseillaise. Until Someone Wakes Up. Finding Neverland and finding Angela Shelton. The Joy of Lex. Two In Ten. Swimming in Pandora's Aquariums. Proud NEW Team Member of United Planet. http://www.unitedplanet.org No, it's not United Airlines. It's not an airline at all. ...nuuuu, wait, says Ki, maybe it is too, without JP-4 lol

To paraphrase R. West: People call me a bitch whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.

Not all Rivers are Suspicious. A few are at The Center Of The World.

Not all Triangles are by Karpman and calPoly offers lots of possibilities as is. Even Orange ones.

YIKES could those vampyres dance: the black lipstick helped [not to mention the lighting] O.o

Asheville Gay Rights Rally 2004. Lauren and Tami and Noah. Perpetual rainbowflame burning.
The Laramie Project Five Years After in New York, 2003: Romaine played herself and left her script open ...

Al-Rowwad, Salam and Woud, and Bread & Puppet altijd. Eurydice is where water wins over gravity, go see for yourself.

Starfire Bridge 1470 - 1970 and Laurie Church as a Virgin Mary? Well....you shoulda been there <3

Perfect Pie ... just the right temperature, west of here *snarfs a bigbig slice*
On earth as it is in Toronto. {Also Boulder.}
Now the new Molly is an understudy on Broadway, the other Molly is on the Bridge <3
She is a sorceress with language ...

At the end of the movie, Lester says:

You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday.
[kk, it's only a movie, right?]

In the ways of the Ancients, she found a hope for the future ...

Going east: Sufi: initiate of Ziraat, first order. Username refers to History, which is one of my majors. Go figure.

See You At The Vortex. [Going WxSW, lol.]

Scooting here and there around The Netherlands. Unable to move here, though, at the moment.

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Update on 03 April 2015 -- back in America since April 2013, currently on my pillow in Cambridge, MA. Laptop disintegrated in Holland, got a new desktop now, yay., returning to cyberworlds. Not changing a thing about statements above. Life back here has been full of health disasters, I certainly would change all of them if I'd been able to!

Further update on 13 August 2015 -- just having listened to the Stones playing Hyde Park in Summer 2013, celebrating their Hyde Park concert in Summer 1969, 44 years earlier.

Charlie Watts (drums): "To be honest with you, at our age this could be the last one -- I don't mean we're gonna keel over, but -- it could be. I've always thought that. I've always thought it's gonna pack up next week."

Timeless. You're not looking upwards into history, it's right there on the stage in front of youuuu...

Now it's 2016, three / 47 / more years since Hyde Park, and the Stones are out on yet another tour.

Mick: If I could stick a knife in my heart / Suicide right on the stage / Would it be enough for your teenage lust / Would it help to ease the pain? / Would it satisfy ya / Would it slide on by ya / Would ya think the grrl's insane? / I know / It's only rock 'n' roll / But I like it / like it / Yes I dooo...

It wasn't a stage at all, it wasn't Hyde Park, there would not be a curtain call.

The journal is a continuing celebration of Kiota al-Astraya. As she was before that night and on that night -- then, 97 months ago, and right this moment.

For now, as then, she has not left the building at all, it's just her stage has changed.

Kiota from the Korean verb 'kiotara' = to turn around. al-Astraya = to the stars.

97 months, 8+ years, nothing to many, an eyeblink. time revolves in the stars. As she does.

The stars will be there tonight, too. And always, in Dutch = en altijd.

And you really appreciate her life trajectories much more when you suddenly get to the edge of the end of your own --- and you get pulled back. Like mee.

More work to be done, more joy to be lived.