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Brad's adventures with El Al

No, these are Canadian fighter jets. They fly escort to El Al :P

The good thing was that it only cost me 50 USD to change my ticket. Not 100 as they told me over the phone.

Two women. More friends. I was the only customer. "What???? You don't want to see the Dead Sea?"

No. I'm interested in the Live Sea.

"But you cannot swim in Haifa. It's all polluted with gasoline and oil. It will kill you."

Okay. [They started arguing in Hebrew about whether the seawater would kill me or not, and how soon.] I felt like asking them to book me an El Al flight to Beirut so I could go swim in the Sea off Lebanon. {This is on the *other* side of the Hez rockets.} But I held my tongue.

What about these Hezbollah rockets?

She made a face. "In Florida there are hurricanes!"

I explained about NOAA and satellite imagery and CNN weather 24 / 7 and the fact that you can see the next hurricane coming. Not the next rocket. Unlike right here.

"How else can I help you today?" Brad knows a Topic Change when he hears one. He was lovers with a comparative linguist once, and that is one of the only two things she ever wanted to talk about.

"Why have you come to Jerusalem if it is your first trip out of America?"

That took some verbal artistry. How could I tell them that I had just held my memorial ceremony, for me and 70+ other people, most of whom I've never met, a memorial to a deceased Jewish bisexual / lesbian teenager because she told me to come to The Valley of The Ghosts, to a homeless men's camp beside a train station that the Israeli Freedom Fighters blew up in 1948?

Then El Al Lady WOULD have reached for the Mental Health phone. And a big white mesh net to throw over me.

So I trotted out my fail-safe, dependable reason. "Pilgrimage." Everybdy here loves to hear that from an American, and they nod at me with big knowing smiles.

It turns out that one of them wants to move to Florida and the other one is from Brazil and wants to go back ASAP. And they both work here in town for El Al.

So when I told them I wanted to move to Haifa one of them reached for the phone.

I thought they would not call the army. I thought they might call for the Mental Health Police again. At least they looked at me like that: all fearfully.

"What??? You do not take the tourist bus?"

"You need to go to Tel Aviv. You can stay in a wonderful hotel!"

And waste a lot of money, too. I can do *that* in America.

In other news, after I saved my 50 with these El Al emigrants, I followed our Neta trail again. This time to the OPEN camera shop outside the chocolate-quiche restaurant we had lunch in.

The camera lady wants to take my memory card totally out of my cam, for 24+ hours, and burn a CD. That means no pics of the Bahai gardens at night tonight, and no pics at all for a whole 'nother day, and I'm on the train to Tel Aviv tomorrow, keeping a safe distance from the Med Sea which wants to poison me.

So: too late for cam downloading. Gotta wait. I think the whole solution is in Holland.

But I AM working on it.

I think I might be able to find somebody in Tel Aviv who speaks Canon Digital Rebel. Prob is, TA is 51 Km / 30 miles west of the airport. And inside the airport itself?

NUUUUUUUUUUU. No way. The last time I did anything at the airport I was brand new in this country and I bought my cellphone and the only thing they had to go with it was this big fat totally Hebrew instruction book that condemned me to one whole week of broken communications, until my Palestinian friend and theatre director who lives on the other side of the Wall figured out what to tell it to wake up.

So Brad has learned a few things in Israel.

El Al: "What?? You've been here a whole two weeks and you have not gone to Eilat?"

Well, there's this homeless men's camp ....

Maybe I should book them a flight to it.

Why is Kiota giggling?

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
silverplate88
Sep. 7th, 2008 12:59 pm (UTC)
O Mari I knew I could count on you for sympathy in my plight down here where even the money is strange. But you are not.

*is relieved*

Are you going to send me a snowball or at least your cold hands?
(Deleted comment)
silverplate88
Sep. 8th, 2008 05:50 am (UTC)
Yesssssssssss. The thrills of cold <3
elvenforever
Sep. 8th, 2008 07:02 pm (UTC)
You DID go on a pilgrimage. Just not the usual sort. :)
silverplate88
Sep. 10th, 2008 04:59 am (UTC)
Tell me about it, Meow!! And it's far from over ...
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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kiota too late for the stars
silverplate88
Moonfire Marion Bridge / Brad

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