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my memorial ceremony for us / 1

I'm sitting at an internet cafe station on the third floor of the Central Bus Station in Jerusalem. It's where Ki often came to look at BDSM sites and to post in her LJ since all the computers at home are in one room and there is no privacy whatever. I also wanted to look at the top floor, because that's where she often told friends she'd throw herself from. It'a about eight stories up. Amercians don't know that. She would have done a complete job. Right onto the narrow sidewalk or onto a moving bus.

Wow. Some pilgrimage this is turning out to be for me..

I'll post pics of the memorial and there are a lot of them.

This was done yesterday morning, about 10:15 to 11:20 AM local time here. Most of you were sleeping, hopefully!

I explored the abandoned train station at Efek Refa'im for quite awhile, after being told not to. It's a War Memorial site becausee two Israeli Freedom Fighters [the Irgun, Neta will know] blew up the train station in 1948, then two more of them in the group were arrested by the Arabs and they blew themselves up in the prison. There's a big plaque. Ki never posted this anywhere that I know of, so I dunno if she knew that or not. So there are many reasons why this is the Valley Of The Ghosts. Lots of people died here.

So I sneaked through the fence.

Didn't find the exact site she and Becky used, it was off my map. [Of course.]

I wound up in what was an abandoned homeless-persons camp. Little trails here and there. She told me it was perfect. Tracks just over the hill and in the Valley. Homeless problems occupied lots of her last weeks at Evergreen.

I wore a crimson prayer shawl from India, set each stone in a row, dug a shallow depression for them. It was hellishly hot but I sat under a small tree. I offered each prayer with its stone, separately. Till I get the pics up I hope you can envision it. I was just off Bethlehem Street, up this little hill, and that is important because Lois was the first responder to Ki on her last entry here in LiveJournal and she wrote to urge Anna to stay with us, she wrote of rebirth and Anna taking on life as as a new little baby, after so painful a labor as she was going through now, and Lois herself might be dying right now as I write this, she's been out of touch with us completely for as long as I've been here. So the Beit La'haym connection was / is pretty profound -- that's how the Hebrew spelling goes.

So. Prayers.

1- Invocation

For us
And for Anna Al-Astraya
In all her many human names:
Praise be to the Eternal
Who has safely brought us
To the beginning of this new day,
With all of its light
And each of its many blessings,
Under immortal skies
And worlds without end.

2- [Thread one, for all]

I offer to you this stone
To honor the living presences
Of all who have passed through your many journals,
Known and not,
And through my own, known and not.
Each of their lives
Has been affected by the thread of yours,
And although they are many,
They meet here for you once again
At this time in this place.
For them I am a channel of their
Deepest feelings.



( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 27th, 2008 08:45 am (UTC)
*big hugs*

These ceremonies are very beautiful. :)
Aug. 27th, 2008 08:57 am (UTC)
Thank you, Amy. You were right there next to us.

I couldn't really get very far though my own stone offering: I wasn't too teary, just sweating like a pig, but my voice went way way down to a trembly whisper. It took three tries to get to the ending ....

I will attempt to get the picture thingie figured out as soon as I can. I have the USB cable to download pics to LJ but I need a friendly host computer to plug into.

As long as I stay somewhere near the Christian Quarter I guess Gmail will only come up in French, but I can usually find a helpful Muslim to change the screen to English.

Go figure!
Aug. 28th, 2008 07:19 am (UTC)
Thanks, Amy. You were there too. Of course.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


kiota too late for the stars
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