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of art and nudity

umm... no, the nudity isn't exactly like this.
and the art is not tat art.
in fact i think there's an LJ community named something like that?

we are having a major jazz festival in town this week, all week. a little bit of it is art. much is god-awful honking, recalling demented geese or lovelorn rhinos, but forgiven by the hoteliers and merchants, hot-dog vendors and street musicians. there are way-too-young performers trying their middle-school best in front of admiring parents, some of whom are either wearing hearing aids or earplugs. there are Grey Panthers blasting away and bleating away their "jazz" "music" in a symphony of Faded Glory. Not much glory. Lots of fade.

yeah there was also ornette coleman and dave brubeck too. if you could afford them.

all this cacophony brought out at least one nude, probably more. i was eight miles away but a gf texted me this description: EURRRGGGGGHHHHHHH! before she ran away.

See, in the Queen City of the People's Republic of Vermont, we have this strange nudity law. It is perfectly fine to walk around downtown, ride your bicycle [ooooh painful], go shopping, even eat a hot dog [steady there, chief, a REAL weiner with deli mustard and relish] while you are dressed in your birthday suit [Hi, Meow!] and enjoying natural air conditioning. Butbut, take your clothes off in public and it's straight to the hoosegow and tell it to the judge {NOT show him / her the values of your constitutional rights.} The flashing lights on your BPD patrol car give a whole new meaning to the word "flashing". You leave your clothes in your house BEFORE you hit the front door.

There's one more thing: looking like you are physically aroused is also illegal in the city, regardless of what Sex in the City is doing. That's legal sexism because it's always men who want most of the inspection and attention, right? So if you sit at a sidewalk cafe with your hot date, your table better not be made of see-through polypropylene or some such. Or you better be two or ninety-eight. Or order food on very wide plates.

I'm not sure how to ... umm ... handle that. Maybe call up for home delivery.

Most of my experience about nudity teaches me that except for your own personal goddess-lover or ten [which lead straight to glazed eyes anyway, at least it does me], it looks to me like 99% of the rest of humanity can get on board the Beautify America campaign by keeping ALL of their clothes securely ON. Unless I guess if your name is Schwarzenegger or Madonna, McConaghuey or Kate Moss.

And how many of us are them?


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 9th, 2008 02:31 am (UTC)
Yeahhhh ... and I didn't make a single word up.

I spose if you're in the tub like this, the laws change. {Who cares?} As long as you're surrounded by bubblebath, walls, floor, and roof, and maybe the camera crew [if you're shooting an underwater-reality TV series.]

It's not clear how our cops determine an illegal degree of arousal [laser measuring devices? OW OW OW !!!] Guess upstanding citizens are not supposed to know how they do that --- until it's too long and too late? [OOOOOOps, a family journal this is, don't wanna get kicked off like Kiota did x.x]

Anyway, glad I could tickle your ...umm ... funnybone. Hope things are going well for you at school and everywhere else in your life. Been to any good jazz concerts lately?

And I said, I know, it's only rock and roll, but I like it, like it, yes I do.
Jun. 9th, 2008 03:11 am (UTC)
Me? Eat a hot dog au naturel?

Well, maybe a few years ago, but not now...*grin*
Jun. 9th, 2008 05:02 am (UTC)
O.o lol No, Miss Meow, not that! I just was referring to "birthday suit" to mean: today's your birthday! .... formal dress optional.

I have no clue whether you even *like* hotdogs. au naturel or not.
Jun. 9th, 2008 08:19 pm (UTC)
LOL, it's so hard to be misunderstood. Especially when you weren't. *wink*

Think your icon is so appropo. :) No, I have never eaten a hot dog au naturel. I do like hot dogs. I HAVE done some daring RELATED things in my life for reals. :)
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 9th, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC)
Not familiar with Brussig but I'm interested in searching him out. His book, I mean.

I don't think I'd be running off to my nearest steel mill or lumberyard to test out these fantasies....although 2 x 4 stock comes in lengths [I mean, *is available in lengths*] up to sixteen feet [49+ meters] and therefore is probably not the best image for concealable limpness or compliance with the laws of my city.

Might be a good subject for an academic thesis in ... Exercise Physiology? Bipole Neurovascular Interface Anatomy?

Well, probably been done already. Jaded, you said ;)
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


kiota too late for the stars
Moonfire Marion Bridge / Brad

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