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the place you'd rather be

There seems to be an endless parade of flowers passing through these weathers in Holland, changing as the winds. In unlikely places, too: these were planted and stayed briefly between two sets of tram tracks downtown, a whole field of them:

I kindasorta like the white ones because there were fewer of them and they stood out... and now there's just the fieldgrass left, you can't tell that they'd ever been there as you just go across now.

Ki made a lot of flower studies too, like these in Northern Idaho she shot in 2006:

And in the school across the street, the kids used one of their windows to share their artistic interpretation...

And the shades were left up that day, so you can make out a little teddy bear pushing up into one of the stems with her foot and one paw.

There was a multimedia exhibit at one of the local art galleries [dozens are here] entitled "In "Honor of Craziness, or The Place You'd Rather Be." It's a takeoff on the title of Erasmus' book "Ïn Praise of Folly" and it features a film starring a 'kaalgeknuffeld teddybeertje', a little teddy bear so loved that almost all her fur has been rubbed off and she's been patched many times over. The bear is filmed as she goes through storms and stresses and is whirled all around the air and eventually slows down and gets very still and loses all her color... into blacks and beiges. Then she's showered with feathers and fireworks go off and she slowly gets her color back and dances again in the sky. The film loops endlessly, every 18 minutes, so life and resurrection repeats and repeats.

Soyeah that bear in the film and the one in the window, and the flowers, move endlessly, it seems to me. I've known for a long time that teddybears are timeless.

"They cannot break the heart, as friend
Or love may split our trust for ever.
We never asked them to pretend:
Death is a clean sufficient end
For flower, friend, or lover."

This is from the end of a 1946 poem titled "The Garden" by Vita Sackville-West, who was one of the lesbian lovers of Virginia Woolf... Woolf, tortured and bisexual, who suffered deeply from BPD, way long before the blessings of Lithium; who suffered from nightmares of becoming permanently trapped in a mental breakdown, and suffered from suicidal ideation all her life, eventually leaving us in May 1941 [back when we were all little tads.] But not before writing brilliant books like "Örlando" and "To the Lighthouse", and essays like "Ä Room of One's Own."

So although Vita might have been another successful writer, plus rich enough to have castles and live in them and build gardens, I don't think I agree with her idea of "sufficient end."

She was still pretty shook up about Virginia, five years later, and her poem shows that.

I think flowers, newly budding, always promise to bring you something new: colors, fragrances, lights through their petals and veins, right along with their short lives: what they ask of you is to stop and appreciate them while they're there and while you can. Sure, some lovers and friends are irreplaceable. But they can live in memory and in your heart, and for me they can be beacons to walk by. In all weathers. And *that*'s not an end at all, if you look at your lifewalk as traveling in a circle, a large one, sufficient to itself.

To the place I'd rather be.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 27th, 2009 09:25 pm (UTC)
Oh man, I have been going flower crazy here at work. There are sooo many different types of flowers. It's amazing the colors and shapes they all come in. The Forest Service volunteer I was camped by is putting together a book on what flowers bloom when in SW Colorado's subalpine, so I am always looking for new flowers for her. I swear I have a photograph of almost every common flower here, and I've learned most of the common names. There's also a German exchange student staying in the bunkhouse at work and she is making a plant collection. Between her and the volunteer, they literally have all the flower identification books checked out from the library (which is where I am sitting right now). When I get home Wednesday I'll probably post a few flower photos. I went out on a photo shoot one morning after we were done packing in traps (omg those things are heavy) and came back with something like 200 flower pictures. Anyway, I'll shut up (sorry, I'm internet deprived right now). One of the paintings I am working on is one of Ki's flower photos (the blue flowers that kind of form a spikey ball thing in her DA gallery).
Jul. 28th, 2009 03:24 pm (UTC)
Yep, I know that blue one well, it's a favourite! *Hopes you will post a photo of your painting when it's finished*

I know all about internet deprivation! So, please don't apologize about it ;-). When I was in grad school at Boulder I took a little time to go here + there in the mountains and get my flower-time in, but nothing on the scale that you've done.

How many heavy traps did you have to pack in?

I had the chance to praise you [and took it, of course] a couple of days ago when one of the staff at the hostel brought back 360 pics of his mountain-climbing weekend in Switzerland. I talked about you and your wildlife work, and showed him some of your shots of the Rockies backcountry; he especially liked the one you took of the golden moonrise over the peaks [think that was from June 2008 or something.] Of course I do too, so you see we both have good taste!

So that was fun, to share with him!

And I'm glad to see you're grabbing all this time for your art before school starts again!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


kiota too late for the stars
Moonfire Marion Bridge / Brad

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