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to a vanished world

The English meaning of Yad Vashem is "a memorial and a name." The design of this whole hilltop is to take you on journeys into the dark, through it, and out into the light again. Which hurt our eyes when we were born.

It's the State Museum of Israel exhibiting a ton of information about the destruction of the Jewish people from 1939 - 1945. More than six million of them.

There is a high footbridge, over a gully, into one of the exhibits that is called 'Bridge to a Vanished World.'

Sometimes the six million are not completely real because it's a horde upon horde of them. I have trouble with 6 million of anything, if it's not some kind of scientific statistic.

But I have no trouble with one. Whose world vanished. And who is why I am here now. Bridging. Into a world I won't let vanish. Although she can go anytime she wants. And she knows that.

Right after her death I wrote a little meditation about all the poems she would never be able to write, Pachelbel that those long beautiful fingers would never again play; all the stories, the photos and films she would now never make for us, the beautifully tragic personal stories of how her day had gone, for there were to be no more of them. They meant so much to us as she chose us to be her Friends-Only family and as we shared them with her in real time.

And all this was suddenly very real to me as I walked over that bridge. One million five hundred thousand kids died in those years, among them Anne Frank. But it's Kiota I was especially missing today.

Of course she is still in my heart....but like everyone here, I would so much prefer her to be ALL here, and creative, and becoming healed --- comma by comma, TeenHelp client by TeenHelp client, photo essay by photo essay .... and filming her heart out and in, and sharing all her times in Cambodia. And, of course, huggable :P

The kids who died then, in those years, had no control over the things that governments and armies were doing to them. In our day, she had no control over what her psychiatrists were doing to her, either. By early April, Ki felt her control, her mind slipping away more and more. As I hope we remember.

A girl with a silent drum, walking back to her dorm as sunset comes on, as her photo icon shows. Ki's heart is right there behind the camera.

In all the Yad Vashem horror there is light too, some of it is sunlight. *Real* sunlight. You get there if you go deep ahead enough.

In Anna's life after April 13 there is light too. The challenge is to allow her into our hearts to show us where it is going and how bright it is.

Not quite as easy as walking into a museum, is it. Any museum, really, but especially this one.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
logicalargument
Sep. 1st, 2008 02:49 pm (UTC)
The sadness of existing only in a museum is second only to that of being forgotten altogether. Either way, it shouldn't happen to the young.
silverplate88
Sep. 2nd, 2008 05:45 am (UTC)
There are hundreds of testimonials from all over the world: those remembering their own children or their parents, or others. It not only should not happen to the young, it should not happen to anyone. Ever again.

What is rather ironically joyous is that the memories are SO alive in this place. It totally feeds my belief that if you make an open place and a safe one in your heart for anyone who has gone, they are still very much alive within you.

For me, on the bottom line, that isn't sad at all. It's why I'm here.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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kiota too late for the stars
silverplate88
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