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one woman in one moment

Ten years ago this month Ki and I were emailing back and forth about ideas for her new short story which she published as "Smoke, Hope, and Darkness." I posted in her memorial J about it under the title "I have a Secret Dream", available at http://kiota.livejournal.com/2015/04/18/

I want to add some of our convo I elided a year ago, because now, ten years out, it's even more relevant:

KI -- So I guess I'll try to add more tension, some more descriptions, to try and further draw the reader in. I'm also not sure about a name -- I liked the fact that she was nameless.... It doesn't matter. It's one moment in time and the greater picture isn't important -- it's one woman in one moment. Ack, am I making sense?

BRAD -- YES you are making sense! ...Now that I know more about your planning behind your pen: I like the dead, the soulless feeling, it is a BIG part of you and your world, I know that :: :: :: and now to keep it unboring...

How about not naming everyone: maybe leaving the lead grrl anonymous so we can ALL identify with this as LGBTQwhatever -- leaving her anonymous and naming the black woman as a cherished lover who is now a corpse?

How about this for "heading towards something bad and inevitable" :: can it be worked out that the train does not stop for a gunbattle but just keeps going along on its doomed ride, the train into darkness and death, maybe as souls die they just get thrown off and others jump on, who in turn are doomed never to get off again in this life or as living souls, only corpses? This shifts the inevitability to the train rather than the passengers, who might find out as they go along that not only does it NOT stop where they think it's going to, it doesn't stop at all, so a bullet is the only way out?

That way, you don't have a crowd battling on the platform, it comes right down to the drama between your main grrl and her ex-lover-deadbody and whomever tries successfully to kill her, even if the killer is she herself? O.o In these terms, YES you are making sense, the bigger picture does not matter, is comes down to one woman and her attendant ghosts // fears // lovers // molesters ...

< > < > < > < > < >

What resonates so much with me today is how deeply we got into trading ideas, some of which she liked, some of which she did not... we got a really creative fury going here. One of the things that powerfully attracted us to one another: mutual respect for ideas and excitement in creating something new.

And what also resonates with me this day is how much what she was writing in February 2006 foreshadowed what she was going to do in April 2008. The images of inevitable, powerful, unswervable steamTrain; doom; one part of yourself murdering another part of yourself -- her images brought into VERY sharp focus.

The "lead grrl" of course is not anonymous at all.

And where her train was going. And who was driving.

Not any mystery then. Not any mystery now.

Blessings Be.

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kiota too late for the stars
silverplate88
Moonfire Marion Bridge / Brad

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